In a new interview with Big Issue, Jason Isaacs, best known for his role as Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, spoke about a long drug addiction that he still managed to overcome.

I’ve always been addicted. By the time I was 16, I was already bored with alcohol and began a long-term love with drugs. All my actions were dictated by a terrible desire to remain as a conscious, thinking, and feeling person as little as possible. And for almost 20 years, nothing could break through this state,

– Jason said.

The actor admitted that he first got drunk at the age of 12.

The bartender, whom we then considered a hero, and now I understand that he belongs in prison, secretly brought us a full bottle of liquor. We drank it in the toilet and then staggered to the party. I vomited, I fell and tore off a giant curtain, climbed to kiss the girl, God bless her … I ran out into the street, vomited again, then I stumbled, smashed my head on the sidewalk and covered all my clothes with blood. The next morning I woke up with a splitting head, a stench from vomit, a huge scab on my head, and the memory of how I was completely disgraced yesterday. And I thought: I’d rather repeat it all. Why is that? I have no idea. Genes? Education? Zodiac sign?

– Isaacs shared.

Jason also talked about what happened before he stopped using drugs:

I remember not long before I quit, it suddenly occurred to me that if everyone I knew died, literally everyone, I probably wouldn’t mind. I would even be glad because then it would be an excuse to sit in a room alone and take drugs, and everyone else would say: “You heard what happened, right?”